All Work and No Playground

It has been absolutely beautiful outside.  The sun has been shining, there's a pleasant breeze, and the city isn't quite hot enough to start smelling like garbage.  It's rare to say this in New York, but few would disagree: the weather has been perfect.

Ever since becoming a parent, this has been "prison break" time.  No longer are we cornered in our apartment, waiting for the snow/sleet/hail/locusts to subside.  Once spring arrives, we can go outside and do some much-needed time-killing.  And whenever I start thinking, "what on earth am I going to do with this hyper-crazy child?" there's always a fail-safe option: the playground!

My son loves the playground.  He loves the swings.  He loves the bouncy bridge.  He loves the slide.  He loves the dead leaves and worms lying around.  He loves just running around and being carefree.  I love watching him have fun without draining my own energy.  It would be better, however, if the playground had a mini-bar.  Despite its imperfections, I had been a huge fan of my son's favorite playground, especially since it's just a couple blocks from my home.  It would be no problem to take Kyle there quickly whenever I needed to eat up a half-hour or so of time.

Not anymore.  Kyle is no longer welcome there:

Nor is any other kid, in fact.  As part of Mike Bloomberg's "Kids Have It Too Easy These Days" initiative, the local playground has been shut down and boxed in by a chain link fence topped with barbed wire.  Angry, hungry rottweilers patrol the grounds to prevent any toddlers from wandering in, and the city plans to build a moat once it raises enough money from laying off thousands of teachers.  With the children kept out, workers can demolish the playground and build a casino there.

(Above: Some of the city's renovations,
including the new "slide that goes nowhere")

Okay, that's not entirely the truth.  The city is actually renovating the playground, which would be great if I still thought we'd be living here when it's finally complete.  The way these public works things go, both my kids could be college graduates by time this is done, and that would mean they'd look funny going down the children's slide.  So, basically, we lost our playground.

Let me clarify that: we've lost our very close playground.  We live in a neighborhood that has more playgrounds than bagel shops, which is quite impressive considering this is New York.  Two other playgrounds are just ten-minute walks away, so they're not incredibly far.  But I can't just "pop" over there if Kyle wakes from his nap early and starts playing "fling the cookbooks."  Yes, I am grateful to still have several playgrounds around, as my suburbanite friends don't have such luxuries within walking distance.  Then again, my suburbanite friends have yards.

Oh well, I suppose I could deal with it.  We'll adjust.  This has been a big year of change anyway.  Some things, like the new car, have already happened.  Other things, such as the big baby arrival next month, loom ahead of us.  In the grand scheme of things, I suppose losing a playground isn't a big deal, even if I'll miss it.  So what if I lose my go-to time-killer spot?   There are others around, and I could always resort to putting him in front of the TV a little longer.  And so what if Kyle loses his first playground?  Things change.  Besides, he probably was spoiled having it close-by anyway.  Kyle really should work for his fun.  Kids have it too easy these days.

Never Forget

I have to be very careful.  Kyle might remember what happens today.  The little guy is about a month and a half away from his third birthday, which means the memory factory is gearing up.  Chances are there will be an experience from now that will remain in his head for the rest of his life, the earliest memory that he might one day write about in school.  I sure hope it's not one of me smelling my armpits or tootin' in the kitchen.  I thought about that on Saturday morning, when we watched the royal wedding I had recorded the day before.  As Kyle pointed out the silly hats worn by the silly Brits, I suddenly realized that I was about his age when Charles and Diana were married... and I vaguely remember when that happened. 

Now, Kyle might not remember William and Kate or even those hats.  He might not remember our recent trip to North Carolina, or the moment he first saw his new toy box.  Yet something is bound to stick, right?  Maybe his first memory will be like mine, seeing one of his grandparents holding his baby brother.  Maybe he will remember something from a holiday, like Christmas or his birthday.  Or maybe his first memory will be that time when Daddy had food poisoning and made all those outrageous noises in the bathroom.  I wouldn't be surprised.  Kyle thought my illness was hilarious.

For the first couple of years, during my crash-course in parenting, I had taken some solace in the fact that Kyle wouldn't remember a thing.  Sure, I have documented some of my foibles, but the little guy probably won't read about them until years from now, and that's only if he discovers my website, which by then will no longer be devoted to stories about him, and will instead focus on 19th century Scandinavian shoe horns.  So, if Kyle doesn't read or remember much about these years, he will continue to view me as the brilliant dad who has always known how to do everything right.  But, again, now I have to be careful... or else Kyle will realize that I am actually "winging it." 

So there are many things that could end up being Kyle's first memory.  It could even happen any day now. Chances are, though, it won't have anything to do with the incredible news that broke this past weekend.  I doubt Kyle will remember the death of Osama bin Laden, since he had gone to bed hours before the TV networks first announced it.  I almost missed it myself.  We were getting ready for bed when I flipped on ESPN's SportsCenter and learned of the news through its crawl.  I quickly turned it to ABC and sat there in disbelief.  I, like many Americans, had started to believe that this day would never come.  And, yet, it did.

Osama bin Laden changed our lives, our country, and our world through terror.  He was an evil man who nearly escaped justice.  But now he can do no more harm. Osama bin Laden will be just a name in the history book Kyle reads at school.  Kyle won't hear any new threats from him.  He won't see any new video of him.  Of course he will learn a lot about 9/11, but now he will also be told that a group of brave Navy SEALs found the man behind that horrific day and made sure he couldn't take any more lives.  9/11 is still vivid in my mind, and I know I will never forget Osama bin Laden and all that he did.  But Kyle won't remember him at all, and I am extremely grateful for that.

Candy Land

I've been on a three-day-long sugar high, and it's fantastic.  Well, up until the point when I feel sick, but I tend to cure that with magic jelly beans.  Yes, this is a very sweet time for a stay-at-home dad like myself, with candy within arms' reach from any spot in our apartment (we might have overdone it this Easter).  I tend to eat a ton of it as a relief whenever Kyle goes bezerk, and he's been hyper a lot these past few days.  The funny thing is, he really hasn't eaten a whole lot of candy, especially when you compare it to all that I've had.  That's as far as I know.  Maybe he has a secret stash somewhere, or maybe he's just breathing it in through the air.  Is there such a thing as second-hand sweets?  The Surgeon General probably should look into that.

Wow, has it been great.  Jelly beans before lunch.  M&M's after lunch.  Peeps at snacktime.  Dinner with a salad and a Cadbury egg.  A chocolate bunny before bedtime.  Some people say having a child allows you to relive your youth.  Usually that means through your child, but I find it better at times to just do the same thing your child is doing, especially when it comes to candy.  If Kyle's going to have a basket of candy, I should have one, too.  If Kyle is going to be hyper, I should be hyper, too.  Kyle doesn't eat as much candy as I do because he doesn't have to: give him a few M&M's and he's running around in circles, burning holes in our rugs.  Too bad Easter came after last week's Boston Marathon.  I bet Kyle could have won it with just a couple of chocolate bunny ears.

Besides the obvious candy perk, this Easter Sunday was a lot of fun.  This year I felt like Kyle was starting to get the Easter tradition.  Not the whole resurrection from the dead/salvation bit, but the part about the crazy bunny that dumps goodies in our home.  The night before, we had him leave a carrot for the Easter Bunny (which was the ritual in my family), and he seemed to enjoy doing that.  The next morning, he slowly walked into the room, with his eyes at the spot where he had placed the carrot.  There was a basket!  With candy!  And cookies!  His eyes widened, and he gave a big, open-mouth smile.  This was almost as exciting as discovering that the chapters in one of my Kurt Vonnegut books are marked with big numbers.  My son appreciates the simple pleasures in life.

I love being a dad at times like these.  You can actually feel your child's joy.  It was so much fun watching Kyle's face light up as he dug through his goodies, discovering M&M's and Oreo cookies.  I loved watching him try a Starburst jelly bean and not like it because it's too tart (more jelly beans for Daddy, then - a main cause of my sugar high).  The Easter Bunny also left a couple of gifts - two Berenstain Bears books - and I enjoyed seeing him unwrap those.  Two years ago, Kyle didn't seem to understand what was going on.  Last year he was possessed by "terrible two" demons, so we didn't have much fun.  This year, he was completely into it, and he made me feel like a kid again.  So, yes, I did relive my youth through him on Sunday.  I know doing that sort of thing won't always be fun (especially when Kyle's in middle school), but I'll take a moment like this one a million times over.  Especially if that means there will be more candy.

Our new Berenstain Bears books are titled "New Baby" and "Too Much Junk Food."  The Easter Bunny thought they might help the little guy during the next eight weeks.  The latter book is a joke (the Easter Bunny doesn't believe there's such a thing as too much junk food), but it's probably a good thing that Kyle's been having me read it over and over.  The way the candy's been flowing into my mouth, I need something to remind myself to take it easy.  I'm just glad I don't have to see the dentist until August.

Boxing Day

My parents visited this past weekend, bringing with them bags of Easter candy, Sunday morning breakfast, and enough clothes for a three-month stay (they tend to overpack a little).  They also brought a large, highly-anticipated gift: a toy box for Kyle.  It truly is a thing of beauty, and it is BIG.  It's large enough to hold most of Kyle's toys, his stuffed animals, my magazines, the TV remote, partially-eaten sandwiches, and whatever else the little guy decides to drop in there.  No more tripping on toys!  No more looking around for things!  Hahahaha... yes, I'm just kidding myself.  At least now we have a place were toys should belong.

The box was hand-crafted by my father himself.  He is highly skilled in making these kinds of things.  The cradle I first slept in was built by my dad, and when I was older, he created a backyard fort for my brother and me, using a window shade to create a retractable roof.  I understand this design has been used as a model for several major league ballparks.  Like most kids, I took my father's creations for granted, but now I realize how much skill they require, skill that I have yet to develop myself.  I once made Kyle a chair out of Duplo Lego blocks... it couldn't hold him. 

My son loves his new toy box.  As soon as it was set up in his room, Kyle started putting things in it, including some toys.  Right now, the little guy is obsessed with opening and closing doors, and the toy box gives him an opportunity to do just that whenever he wants.  He must have opened and closed that thing a hundred times in the first day alone.  There's a nice little opening right under the box top to help him open it.  The opening also allows air to flow freely into the box, which will be useful should the little guy decide that his baby brother needs to go into storage too.

So this is the major excitement around our household this week, and I am very grateful to my dad for providing it.  The beat-up basket that held some of Kyle's toys is now in the trash, and an old crate that held other toys will once again be used to store our own junk.  Thanks to my dad, we might regain a little more sanity in our apartment.  It's about time, too.  As I mentioned before, this was a highly-anticipated gift, in part because my dad had initially said he was going to give us the toy box on Kyle's first birthday.  Kyle turns three in June.  Better late than never, right?  I think so.

Escape from New York

Last week we put more than 1500 miles on the new car, traveling to North Carolina and back.  Driving gave us more flexibility than flying, and we didn't have to spend Kyle's college savings on airfare.  It was a risky trip, with Jennifer being less than three months away from giving birth.  Fortunately, she had no difficulty.  She said the drive was more comfortable than our trips in the Corolla, which is not surprising, since the Corolla was a low-budget, no-frills model, and its seats were made out of rocks.  When Jennifer was pregnant with Kyle, her back would start hurting almost immediately after I turned the ignition.  This time she felt fine most of the way down to the Tar Heel State.

Kyle did well, too.  He enjoys traveling, especially when he has a bag full of books at his disposal.  He no longer needs us to read them to him, as he prefers to just thumb through the stories, pretending to read aloud as he looks at the pictures.  I was happy with this development, since it's hard to read children's books and drive at the same time.  Kyle's new window seat also made the trip more enjoyable.  When he was not reading books or napping, he loved to look out the window and point at the many roadside attractions, including cows, water towers, and billboards featuring erotic dancers. 

This was a very good trip for Kyle.  He was able to escape the city for a little while and see what makes the South so special: the good ol' Southern hospitality, excellent food (which he didn't eat), homes with yards, and free parking lots.  Kyle also spent a great deal of time with other kids, including his 10-month-old cousin.  We were happy the two got along, since this might be a preview of what will happen when Kyle gets a younger brother.  Of course, Kyle's attitude towards babies might change once he has one waking him up throughout the night.  Mine certainly did, and I'm just now starting to forgive our son.

Last week the little guy wore a suit for the first time.  He was the ring-bearer in a wedding, which meant he had to look impressive as he walked down the aisle in front of family and friends.  The job also enabled him to spend a great deal of time with the flower girls.  As I said already, this was a very good trip for Kyle.  For much of the wedding and reception, I didn't even know where he was, as he followed the girls everywhere.  They played games together, ran around our dinner table, and even practiced some new dance moves:

Kyle was fine after his spill.  He wasn't hurt physically, though he did bring shame to himself and the entire family.  Apparently he struck out with the flower girls, too, as they have yet to return any of his phone calls.

As for me, I also had a great time being far away from the city, where there are wide open spaces between houses and highways without potholes.  I came very close to embracing the suburbs, but then, towards the end of the week, I tried venturing outside for my afternoon coffee fix and became stuck at an intersection when traffic prevented me from making a left turn.  At that point I realized that I don't want to move out of the city anytime soon.  I like being able to walk to my destination.  While I certainly enjoyed driving the new car around, I'm glad it will be parked for the next few days.