Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Enemy of the (Empire) State

Sunday was a sunny day in New York, and it was hard for anyone to stay indoors. All of New York's estimated eight million and three people took to the streets, which meant a person had to wait in line just to go for a walk. For our little family, it was worth it. We had brunch at our favorite local restaurant, and Kyle watched the passersby as he enjoyed a price fixe meal of yogurt and Gerber peaches (with matching formula for each entree). We then strolled through our neighborhood before stopping at a nearby playground, where we practiced pushing our kid around:

This was Kyle's third time on a swing; his first time was just a week earlier. I can't exactly say for sure, but I think he enjoys it. Either that, or he has some sort of allergic reaction to the swing that causes his face to freeze with his cheeks spread apart and his mouth open wide.

The swing wasn't the only thing he enjoyed at the playground. He also enjoyed the slide... and the ladies. Kyle worked his charm on the young girls around him, often reaching out his hand to grab theirs, and they returned the favor. He worked some of his best pick-up lines and probably would have scored some numbers had any of these girls known how to write. Everyone seemed to love our little guy. Sadly, though, that will all change soon.

The next time Kyle enters a playground, he probably will be shunned by the other kids. Nobody, not even the young ladies, will want to be associated with him. Many will "boo," spit and scowl at him. Some may call him names, like "bawb bawb bawb," "doy doy doy" or any other vulgarity in baby speak. How do I know this? Well, baseball season began this week, and, chances are, when Kyle returns to the playground, he'll be sporting clothing supporting his favorite team... a team that's not exactly loved in New York. You know the one. That team. It's Kyle's team and will always be Kyle's team, because Kyle is such a huge fan. The fact that his dad grew up in the Boston area has nothing to do with it. Just look how much our little guy loves his baseball team:

Now, some people may say that I'm being cruel to my child by raising him as a Red Sox fan in New York. Some may think that I'm just doing this to toughen my kid up, and to teach him at an early stage how to deal with obnoxious jerks, whiners and losers (also known as Yankees fans). There is some truth to that, but, to be honest, I have lived in this city for more than five years now and I've come to realize that Yankee fans can be tolerated. Heck, I've even become close friends with some of them. The truth is, many Yankee fans are just good people who suffer from a poor upbringing or a genetic disorder, especially those born in New York. The New York natives grew up rooting for that team, and they simply didn't know any better.

And that's where Kyle comes in. He can be the healer. Kyle has the ability to look a Yankee fan in the eye and make them see their misguided ways. By working his charm on the kids who jeer him in the playground, Kyle may be able to convert them into Sox fans... or at least Mets fans. It may be too late to convert the parents, though he will try. If anything, maybe, just maybe, Kyle will get them to stop jeering me.

Sure, being a Red Sox fan in New York will be tough for Kyle, but I'm sure he'll find that all the harassment is worth it, especially if he gets to see the Sox win a championship. And if he converts at least one child on the playground, he'll definitely feel he accomplished some good for society. I'm sure all of us will sleep a little better at night knowing there's one less Yankee fan in the world.

1 comment:

erica said...

Awesome post. All the New Yorkers will come around and see the light eventually. Heh.