Have gun, will register

On Friday, I got to play with a gun. Jennifer and I went to one of those scary mega-baby stores to register for stuff, and I was able to use the scanner. At first, we thought it would be a fun time, especially after seeing all the little kids' clothing at the doorway. It wasn't long, though, before we realized we were in over our heads.

Up and down the aisles we went, scanner gun in hand, without a clue as to what we needed for the little one. We had so many questions. What do those numbers on the diaper boxes mean? Why are there so many different types of blankets? What are the multi-uses of multi-use pads? As we struggled through the store for nearly three hours, the intercom played a greatest-hits of mind-numbing pop songs. The whole experience started to feel like a trip to the dentist's, except you're not stuck in a chair, and the drill goes directly into your brain.

And that's how we ended up registering for something called "Baby Butt Smooth Ointment." It's made by a company called Boudreaux, which proudly boasts to also be the maker of "Baby Butt Paste." We're not exactly sure what it's for, but at least we know where it goes.

Those people at Boudreaux, they apparently don't like to sugar-coat the type of product they have. They thumbed their noses at the Snoozy's, Boppy's, and Huggies of the world. They don't need a cute name like "Goodbye Itchies" or "Bottom Sunshine." Nope, BUTT PASTE works just fine, thank you very much. In my daze, I was actually impressed with the direct nature of Boudreaux's products, and almost registered for the whole product line.

Instead, though, we decided to not go with the Butt Paste, and register for only the Baby Butt Smooth Ointment. We figure we'll give it a try, and if we like it a lot, maybe we'll ask for a Butt Paste gift basket for Christmas.